weddings + changes

H E L L O   A G A I N

I am back from vacation and, well folks, we did it. We got my brother all hitched up to Brynna and they're the cutest ever! Our trip to South Dakota for their wedding had it's ups and downs, with Chancy getting sick three days before the wedding, and all the emotions of weddings and goodbyes, but I will always look back on it fondly. The beautiful sunsets. All the hugs and "I love you"s. The drives with my SD girls. 

The day before the wedding is when it all started to become real - my brother was getting married! That morning we met at the church, and the chaos began. The flowers were getting done, we were setting up the reception, we ran out of stars for the tables and people were scrambling to make more, wrapping the tables in paper, and you know, all the wedding things! And later that day, Natasha came!! I am so happy that she made that four hour drive (ALONE!) to come see me!! Even if she did spend most her time just watching me run around, and watching rehearsal and all that jazz. And the next thing we knew it was wedding day!

(Still don't have any pictures with Chancy or Brynna because the photographer took those)

Can you believe that it wasn't even that long ago that I didn't even know these girls and now they're like sisters (and one IS my sister!)!? It still blows me away how amazing God is. He brought these girls into my life right when I needed them, and it turns out that they needed me too. And it was so hard to leave them. We cried and hugged and cried and hugged and cried and hugged some more. 

But boy does it feel good to be home now! You should have heard us squealing when we got the first glimpse of mountains on the way home, like AHHHH!!! 

And now that we're home - summer has hit the PNW (finally) and it hit HARD (100* F!?) annndddd our house sold. *nods* yes, you read that right. After 6.5 years in this house, we are moving! It's crazy because back when I first started this blog we moved into this house. Back then I didn't even know Natasha. Felicity wasn't even married. So much has happened in the years in this house. So much has changed. But I'm excited to move on to the farmhouse in "the flats"! This is a new adventure, and I can't wait to get started! 

Another change in life, is Liberty has a boyfriend (LIKE WHAT?). And before you ask - I am still single as single can be, lol. It's not at all what I had wanted for my life, but I am learning to trust that God knows what He's doing. (trying my best)

WHAT ARE SOME CHANGES HAPPENING IN YOUR LIFE?

SHOULD I DOCUMENT THE MOVE ECT AND SHARE IT HERE??

h a p p y

 "Sometimes you meet a person and you 

just click -- you're comfortable with 

them, like you've known them your 

whole life, and you don't have to 

pretend to be anyone 

or anything."

South Dakota. Oct. 2021.

South Dakota || 2021

All I can say is. What a time.



I've had a rough summer. I lost someone very dear to me. I've been dealing with grief. And then it hit how lonely I was. Not just "I want a boyfriend" kind of lonely. But also "am I even loveable?" kind of lonely.
And then for no reason at all it seemed like, I decided to reconsider my decision to not go to my cousins wedding in South Dakota. I didn't even want to go there. I wanted to be at the wedding but South Dakota was so far, and I knew nobody, and so why even bother? But God opened all the doors, so He must want me to go for some reason, right? So I forced myself to go. Even though I was almost panicky at the thought.
And wow, am I glad I did.
I met some amazing people who make me feel loveable. Who make me giggle when I had thought I had forgotten how. Who welcome not only me, but my family (this means a lot to me).
Before coming here I wrote in my diary that I was afraid to go. Afraid because something in me said that after this trip nothing would be the same. And boy howdy. How could things be the same when I now have such a wonderful South Dakota fam?
And I got to see someone I hadn't seen in three years. And we bonded in ways we hadn't done in five or six years.
So many tears this weekend. So much laughter. So much LOVE.
And I haven't even touched on how much the wedding made me cry happy tears. It was truly beautiful. Cody and Shayne were so cute (another reason I cried, lol).
So yeah.




What a time.

@daminika_carol99  8.31.21

{left to right} Trina, Mikayla, Maybel, Molly, Kylie, Brynna, {me}, LaKaysha, and Emily

September 5, 2021

   I know I've been pretty quiet on here. It's been a while since I actually sat down, simply with the intentions of updating you on life. Or even just to talk about one thing that has happened in my life. About two months ago, something happened that changed my life forever. My dad asked my why I hadn't done a post about it yet, and I told him I wasn't ready. It still hurt too much. I didn't want to have to put it into words. 

  July 14th, 2021. My dear cousin, Abigail Rose, made it Home. (Liberty is better at doing posts than me, so go here if you want to read more about Abi)

  For 14 years she suffered in her earthly body, but still shining God's light with her giggles and smiles. And I still can't believe she's gone. Really and truly gone. It wasn't a shock to me when my dad woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me. Mostly I felt numb from the news. Tears didn't even come at first. I just kept seeing her smile, and hearing her giggle from that time I stuck a toy on her head and told her not to let it fall off. And I just kept thinking, "How stupid sad is this?"

  And so, I've been grieving. I worked. I went to church. I hung out with family. I even smiled. And I laughed. But life felt empty. I was crying myself to sleep more often than not. I'd go for drives and just cry to myself. My heart was breaking from the pain, and I wasn't sure how I'd get through. I was functioning, life was going on, but I wasn't living. 

  I told God I needed Him. I needed His help to get through this.

  My cousin, Cody, was getting married in South Dakota. Back when he had announced that, me and LaKaysha told him we were really sorry but we wouldn't be making it. And then Abi happened. And I felt like God wanted me to at least try to go. 

  I hate decisions. So I asked God to just open all the doors if I was meant to go, and to slam them in my face if I wasn't. Because I was way too upset to simply decide "I'm going". All the doors opened. Every single one. So. I forced myself to go. 

  Don't get me wrong - I wanted to share Cody and Shayne's day with them. But nothing in me wanted to go to South Dakota. I didn't know anyone there. I was afraid I'd end up sitting at the house where we were staying everyday but the day of the wedding. But hey, God must know what he's doing, right? 

  And, boy, does He.

  That trip to South Dakota turned out to me such a blessing!

  As I was crying my eyes out Sunday night, I kept thinking, "Why is leaving so hard? I met these people Thursday night!" How is it possible to love people so much after such a little time? Someone please explain, because I'm slightly confused. (lol)

  So many times while there I kept thinking, "So this is why God wanted me here." 

  First of all, I got to see a friend who I hadn't seen in a really long time. And we had great moments of re-connecting. That really was so nice.

  The wedding was an emotional one, but so beautiful and I enjoyed every minute of it - including the tearful goodbye. 

  And then, the people there were so welcoming! They welcomed me. They welcomed my family. After the wedding we went to a gathering and everyone there acted like they cared that I came. I thought for sure I wouldn't ever make new friends who really cared. And then I met those girls (pictured above). I thank God everyday for "forcing" me to go on that trip. It reminded me how it felt to have fun. To giggle. To have friends to do those things with. It reminded me how it felt to be loved. 

  Yes, I was afraid that after going on this trip life would never be the same again. And that scared me. But, the change was such a wonderful one! 

I will never forget my first (hopefully not, only) trip to South Dakota. 

  So. I guess the point of this post is to tell you this: Trust God. He really does have a plan. 

5.25.2021

     Wow, it's been a while! When was even the last time I did a life update? Last October!? Crazy. Not that it really matters, since I don't actually think people read this blog anymore. (haha) But, it's been a while and I thought it was about time for a quick little life update. For me to read later, even if nobody else reads it. Also, I put on Instagram (@walkinginthesonshine) a poll, asking if I should do a moments post about my recent trip on there or on here, as I've done in the past. And on the blog won! So I guess, soooomeee people still read this! 

     So, yeah. I recently went on a trip! I will be doing a "moments" post on here soon-ish, ok? But till then, this is just another life update. One where I go on rabbit trails about random things that happened in my life. (haha) 

     Well.

     I cut ten and a half inches off my hair! You probably can't even tell, because it's been so long since I've posted, you probably didn't even know it had grown that long. I decided in the beginning of 2020 that I would try grow my hair as long as possible and see how I feel about that before deciding if I wanted to cut it. So, for over a year I didn't cut it, besides a few teeny-tiny trims because my hair actually grows uneven (one side grows faster than the other). And long before deciding to grow it out I had decided to cut out heat tools completely. So heat didn't touch my hair for over two years! (I have now given in and used it in "emergencies", though each time I do I am reminded why I cut it out - I hate the way it makes my hair feel) But, after a year, my hair had grown a lot, but not as healthy I had wanted. The ends were so bad nobody even knew my hair had grown that long! I started keeping my hair up most days because it kinda drove me crazy. I would've cut it sooner, but my dear friend and cousin, Kirsten (please tell me you remember her!!) was getting married in April and I was standing. The hairstyle I picked for the wedding needed long hair. But, we were back from Montana only a daaayyy when I went and chopped it!! I loooove it! Though, sometimes I forget how bad the ends were when looking at pics and my heart kinda goes "awwww" when I see my long hair (xP) Cutting it isn't the only thing I've done to my hair recently! My aunt put some blonde into it, and, wow, I hope this giddy feeling I get whenever I see the blonde bits never goes away! (haha)

     Montana. Kirsten got married!! LaKaysha and I both stood in the wedding, along with another cousin. And Janeya was the photographer, so the weekend was an enjoyable one of running wedding errands with our friends we hadn't seen in too long! Also, the house my parents rented for us to stay in in Montana was a-dor-able! I loooved it so much I alost just wanted to hang out there the entire time! (xP) But there was no time for that. It was a buuusyyyy weekend. Let. Me. Tell. You. But in the end the wedding all came together, and Kirsten is now Mrs. Dan Goodrick! And after the wedding we got to hang out with family at Auntie A and Uncle T's rental house. That was soooo nice, even though I was dead tired and extremely burnt from the outdoor weddding. Get this: they planned for a winter wedding and we all got BURNT (bahahahaha)

(I didn't get any pictures on the wedding day, so I stole these from... my mom?? Liberty?? I don't know *laughs*

     We were only back from our Montana trip two or three days when LaKaysha and I did a crazy thing: we booked tickets to New Hampshire! Felicity and Josiah were going, and we decided to last minute get tickets on the same flights. And it felt like the craziest thing I've ever done. Especially since I'm used to a month or two to prepare for a NH trip. We booked the tickets and were at Grandpa and Grandma's house only three weeks later. I was not prepared, and more than a little scared with all the rules for flying these days. More than once I questioned why we were even going. Flying 3,000 miles, just for the two friends we have there. But you know what? I'd consider it my favorite trip there. It was just so blessed. So relaxing. And so amazing. But enough about that, gotta save stuff to tell you in the "moments" post (*winks*)

     Another big thing in my life: I'm an auntie again!! Little one is due in December, and I just can't wait to see sweet little Kate be a big sister!  For some reason I keep thinking this baby is a boy. (hehe)

     This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend, and LaKaysha and I are once again being crazy - we're going to the Campout! Only for one night, but hey, it's still crazy because nobody we know will be camping. Nobody we know our ages is even going! Liberty is coming with us, and it will be her first time since being a kid, so it'll be fun to show her what it's like. Also, I will be driving us for the first time, so that should be an adventure. 

     As far as work, I'm still cleaning houses with LaKaysha, though we just lost two clients. That's been a blow - especially coming after a two week vacation. But I guess God knows what He's doing. Still driving "Lassie", and he's been amazing. Despite quite a few nails in his tires. (where are those even coming from!?) If you're wondering how much I love my car, just ask my NH cousins - I think I made it clear that I missed my car while on vacation (bahahaha)

     Oh, if you couldn't tell from the cover picture, I have a longboard, and have been trying to master that. It was sent to me by a friend, and this same friend took me and LaKaysha longboarding while we were in NH. I haven't taken it out much since getting home, but I would like to. I'm just not sure of anywhere to take it. Not many paved paths around here that I know of. 

     Still listening to music 24/7. Still enjoying tv shows with the siblings. Also been reading a lot more in the past couple years. (I think I've ruined my eyes). I've been thinking that I should pick up some of my old hobbies again (crocheting? knitting? piano?). Or maybe learn a new one (guitar? longboard?). I've been realizing lately that I do nothing for fun. I work. I read. I go to church. I sleep. That's it. I've been hating the "what do you do for fun?" question because I don't have an answer. So, that's why I'm thinking about doing hobbies more often. Have any other ideas? 

And well, I guess that's about all I've got to update you about for now! 

Hope your year has been going great!

beach video || 07.19.2020

sometimes you just need to drive two hours to the ocean, dip your toes in, turn around and go home. so we did.

Trip || G O O D B Y E

before we even go home from the airport - Burgerville.

Goodbye was really hard. Tyrel drove us to the airport, and Kirsten rode with. An hour drive, and not much was said. Then Tyrel pulled up to the curb, and we got out. I stood there while LaKaysha got her suitcase out of the trunk, and then walked away.
Flying is actually really easy, especially when you fly through small airports. We even managed to check our bags all on our own.
Once we were at our gate and waiting, I decided to listen to music. Sad music. Not a good idea.
And then my cousin text me, my aunt text me, my sister text me... I cried in the airport, guys. *shakes head* 
But when I seen the mountains from the plane, I knew I needed home. <3


L I T T L E   T H I N G S   I   M I S S  A B O U T   N H:

fireflies

my sister

the coffee

kimball's

the slow and quiet mornings

cormick and callen

grandma's car

janeya's laugh

the smell of grandma's house

the swing

my 1-2-3 cousin

hearing sounds of life at night/in the morning (when your bedroom is in the garage you hear nothing)

Trip || THE EXTRA WEEK

The first day of our extra week started with us helping clean up a yard where a wedding was to be held. (The wedding that brought Kirsten to the state *winks*) When we finished there, we ran back to Grandma's. Jumped out of the car, and we literally ran into the house, changed, and went running back to the car, in order to get to Felicity's in time to meet Aunt Mary there.
And so we went out to lunch with Mary and had a wonderful time. After lunch we went to an antique shop and walked around that. It was a good day with "sisters" and auntie. *grins*

Auntie Mary and LaKaysha

The next day was once again spent in the kitchen - for the most part. Kirsten made more eclair's. LaKaysha cleaned the bathroom. I vacuumed the house and watered all Grandma's plants. We ran to the store and got stuff to make supper. And when all this was done, we helped cut up chicken for the wedding. When we were finally done with that, it was time to make supper. So we did that. It was a busy day for sure.
Felicity and Josiah came over for supper. And I think it was that night that we watched a movie.

idk why, but our pile of shoes made me smile 

the supper we made (I made the salad - there wasn't enough stuff for all of us to do *winks*)

Felicity and Josiah chatting with Great-Uncle Chet 

the next morning 

While we waited for Janeya to come get us and bring us to Kimball's we sat and listened to Great-Grandma Seppala and Great-Uncle Chet talk. Grandma Seppala is so adorable <3

And then Janeya came and we headed off to Kimball's where she bought us each something to eat, and something from the gift shop. ("to make up for all those lost birthdays and Christmas's" <3)

When we were done at Kimball's, we ran back to Grandma's to drop Kirsten off because she had wedding things to do. So Janeya brought me and LaKaysha to Felicity's. She came in and we chatted for a long time even though Janeya was supposed to be home cleaning. (I'm making myself so lonely for, Naya. *sniff*) When she left, we were kinda stuck there. And Felicity didn't plan on feeding us supper so she didn't have enough food for us.
So I texted Tyrel. He came and got us when he got off work and we went out and got giant burritos for supper. It was just like old times. ("The Three Musketeers" - as LaKaysha called us last year.) After supper he brought us to a chocolate shop for coffee. The best coffee I ever tasted in that state <3

And it was back to Grandma's to hang out till bedtime. I loved that day. Janeya. My sister. My "adopted brother". All in one day <3 How could that not be wonderful?

And what did we do the next day? *thinks*
Oh yes. It was Saturday. Felicity and Josiah spent the morning at Friendly Farm, so we just kinda sat around at Grandma's. When they were done at the petting zoo, they came to Grandma's and got me, LaKaysha, and Tyrel. We went out to lunch together. It was a wonderful time. After lunch we walked around some store, trying to find stuff for s'mores, though we didn't find any there so stopped at another store.
And the rest of the day was spent at Grandma's doing nothing. Kirsten had wedding stuff to do that day, so she wasn't ever there.
After supper (we got Pizza Haven), we had a fire and made s'mores. I hate eating s'mores but making them is fun. *winks* After a long time, Felicity decided she was being eaten by bugs and went home.

But it was late by the time Tyrel, LaKaysha, and I went to bed. We sat out on the tramp watching fireflies and looking at the stars. It was a beautiful evening. <3

Sunday morning, Tyrel dropped us off at church. It was the day of the wedding so most people were busy. Felicity and Josiah were ate church, though, so we hopped in with them after. We joined them at a BBQ, and then headed to the wedding.
Felicity said she left us in Tyrel's hands, and then her and her husband wandered off. Us three, got kinda bored because most people we knew were in the wedding and so too busy to hang out with us. There was coffee there, so that was cool. But one can only drink so much coffee. After a while we just left and went back to Grandma's where Uncle Amos had the twins.
So we played with them outside. Amos eventually went over to the wedding and we watched Cormick and Callen for him. I really enjoyed that evening.
Felicity and Josiah came over, and slowly people started coming home from the wedding.

Callen <333

Tyrel made us some Orange Julius *grins*

The next day was our last. We packed, bought snacks, sat at Grandma's. Kaysha and Roger stopped by. And that night we invited a bunch of people over for a fire.

Cormick <3

All too soon we were telling everyone bye. Including my sister and brother-in-law.
I cried myself to sleep that night. <3

I'm really glad I had the chance to go out there for 3 weeks. I hope to go again someday.
But in the mean time... can you people please come visit me?? 

I MISS YOU ALL 

P.S. My wisdom teeth are gone *so glad I will never have to do that again*