"As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful. They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness - just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breathe it; just the warmth and shelter and home folk; just plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool breeze when the day is warm."
~Laura Ingalls Wilder
hello there.
I can't believe it's been two years now since I last did an October Update. When I didn't do one last year, I thought oh this is fine. Who even reads them anyway. Maybe I'll just be officially done posting. But then I went to look back on all my October posts, and I was very sad that there wasn't one for 2024.
So here I am. Sitting at in the dining room of our new house, typing away on a new laptop that I hardly ever use, and trying to figure out how I'm gonna tell you everything that has happened since October of 2023. Cause that seems only fair, that I update you on it all. Though it isn't much for little ole me, but a lot has happened for my family since then.
Honestly, 2024 was a really hard year, and maybe that's why I never took the time to write about it on here. We started out the year with the entire family being down sick with the worst virus we've ever had. I didn't get it quite as bad as the rest of the family, so I spent the first week of 2024 trying to just make sure everyone made it through. And we did.
It was in January of that year that my grandpa left us. On January 26th, 2024, "Grandpa Corn" was called Home, and left all of us behind to grieve. That was hard. And it still is. Grief is something that never goes away, but I am thankful for the time we got to spend in New Hampshire with family, for the funeral. That was a rough trip, but very blessed. I haven't been back to NH since, and still haven't been to Grandpa's grave, and honestly, I am scared to go. Though I know I will have to face it someday.
And so, 2024 was a year of trying to navigate grief and still figure out how to live life without Grandpa here.
In February, a cousin got engaged and she asked me to sing in her wedding, along with LaKaysha, and her sister, Damara. That was so special - to get to sing Grandma's Song on my cousin's special day. It was my third time singing it in a wedding, but I was still extremely nervous! But we did and didn't mess up, so it was okay.
That was in June. Grandma came out for the wedding, along with sweet cousin, Valerie. It was such fun to have her in town! I finally learned how to play volleyball, thanks to her. Which is cool, cause I've always felt too dumb to admit that I don't actually know the rules and such, even though I have played it before, lol.
Mixed in with this very same time was my church's annual Conventions, and it just happened to be in my state last year, so that was a lot of fun, even though it was super busy and we didn't get much sleep that week, between family time, church services, and the late-night youth gatherings. But what a fun time, full of memories <3 This same time, LaKaysha and I did some dog/housesitting, which of course added to the craziness.
After that crazy start to summer, I was actually left feeling very down. This time was another hard time for me. I was starting to feel stuck in my life and felt the need to get away and do something on my own. So, I decided to go to Minnesota for a cousin's wedding, and while I was really scared because I don't know anyone there, I was really looking forward to it.
And that's when we got super sick. Again. And I had to cancel my trip, and I cried for a full day. I was crushed. And have never felt so stuck.
And so summer of 2024 was just another hard time, but we made it through somehow. And at the end of it LaKaysha and I did something we had never done before and maybe was needed - we took separate vacations. We had never been apart up until that point in our lives, and honestly it was so weird when she went to New Hampshire without me.
But it wasn't long till it was my turn. And I was off to Texas on my own. What feels like a lifetime ago, my great-aunt and uncle moved there and ever since then I've been meaning to make it down there to visit them. They aren't any old great-aunt and uncle. These two were such a huge part of my childhood. While my grandparents on my dad's side always lived in NH, these two were basically stand-ins for them. I consider them a third set of grandparents, and I really miss them living by me.
But guys, that trip to Texas was exactly what I was needing.
But guys, that trip to Texas was exactly what I was needing.
When I walked into that house from the airport, it felt like coming home. And I laid in bed that night and cried a little bit because it felt so good to be there. And I made such good memories there, hanging out with cousins, and meeting new people. I am an awkward and shy person, and this trip was way outside my comfort zone, but I did it. (a year ago, right now, and honestly, I wish I could go back<3)
Then I came home, and I turned 25.
And now that brings us to this year.
When we last left off on this blog, we were living on a farm in the prairie of our beautiful PNW home. And that's one thing that has changed since then - for we now live on a little lot of our own, though still in the prairie, and still surrounded by farms. In fact, our new home is just minutes from the farm where we used to live! And my aunts, Marissa and Marita, now live in that old farmhouse that we used to call home. And what's crazy is how fast that happened. It was just this January that I was praying that God would provide us with our house of own, even though with the way things were, it was looking like we would be renting still for years to come. And then February came. Just one month and God changed everything! By mid-February, my parents not only had bought a house, but we were already living in it. Talk about a whirlwind. The first few months of 2025 brought so many changes.
While so many changes were going on around me, there was a lot happening inside me that I had to grow through. And it was hard. But somehow it got better and I am learning to trust God with my story. I know that He's got this, and this year has shown me a lot about myself and who God is.
I've learned how to be okay with my timeline, and yes, as my birthday comes up next week and I'm about to turn 26, I do have moments of sadness. But deep down I am okay. I am okay that I didn't fall in love as a teen. I have been doing a lot of reading in my old diaries, and wow, I can't believe that girl thought she was ready for a boyfriend *facepalm*
Even now I don't know how ready I am, but I do know that I want someone. And some days the loneliness is so strong it hurts. But I know that God hasn't forgotten me, and I do believe that someday my dream of being a wife will come true. I do trust Him.
In January I flew down to Kentucky and stood beside my dearest friend, Natasha, as she became a wife. I felt so blessed to be able to do that. I cried as she drove away with her husband to begin their new life together. <3
When I came home, I had just enough time to pack up my room, and we moved to our new house. That was a crazy time, but we were so thankful to be in our new, warm home when the snowstorms came. I do miss the farm, though. It was such a blessing to get to live there despite the hiccups. I miss seeing the cows out the window, and I miss the barn. I miss having a wood stove, though we are all thankful to not have to get wood. I miss my big bedroom, but I do love my cozy little room in our new home.
I am thankful for this little lot in Chelatchie Prairie, and for this little house. I know it may seem strange, but I did cry when we moved in here because it felt like more than we deserve. For the first in 10 years we had more than one bathroom, a dishwasher, heat, and ac. We are warm and dry and mostly without hiccups for the first time in a decade. You would probably cry too.
Around this same time, at the beginning of this year, I started to do something a little different for work, while still cleaning houses with LaKaysha. I started tutoring for a couple homeschool moms, and I really enjoyed that! I was actually so sad when the schoolyear ended, and I had to go back to just cleaning.
I ended up getting a job at a flower shop where my aunt has worked for 11 years. I have been working there once a week for 3 months now, and I guess you could say I hate it a little less every time I go. I mean, it's not like I ever hated it. And as work goes it's not bad. But if I think about still working there during the busy season (Valentine's and Mother's Day) I kinda wanna just cry, lol. But it's a job and I'm making it through every Monday.
And I'm still cleaning with LaKaysha the rest of the week, and we're getting by.
After six years with our car, we did something a little crazy and bought an escape! I still share it with LaKaysha, but it's been such a blessing. We sold our car to our uncle and have been driving out escape for a while now and loving it. When we first got it, it felt a little bit like when we first moved - like we don't deserve such an amazing rig!
When I say a lot has happened, I really mean that a lot has happened - and remembering it all to write this is actually very overwhelming.
My uncle found out he had a brain tumor and had brain surgery. I couldn't come around family because I was exposed to chicken pox, and my sister was due with a baby and she hasn't had them before. We learned that it's very dangerous for babies and moms at that stage in the pregnancy, so I had to stay away. For seven weeks, because I kept getting re-exposed, since I've never had them either and I really wanted to get them done and over with. The annoying this is - after seven weeks of staying away from everyone, skipping church, and not being able to process my uncle's brain surgery - I didn't get chicken pox. Like, how rude. All that for nothing. (So looks like I'm gonna need to try again someday)
Sometime this spring the Stenersen uncles flew in and surprised their brothers (my dad and uncle). It was so good to see them, even for just a quick weekend! While they were here we had a bit of an adventure. LaKaysha and I decided to tag along to a wedding with some of our cousins, and as we were heading out to say bye to the uncles and go to the wedding, we met a cop chasing down someone. We pulled over and let them go by, not thinking much about it.
Later we got a text from our mom saying that the road to our house is closed and she couldn't get out, because the cops had chased someone down and there was shoot out or something happening, and no one could get out, or in. We barely made it out in time, so luckily, we were still able to make it to the wedding and to say bye to the uncles.
But our parents were stuck on the other side of the closed road and couldn't get out to say bye to the uncles.
We still went to the wedding, and had a good time there, but ended up leaving pretty early because we were unsure of where we were even gonna sleep that night if the road didn't open up.
One problem of living in such a rural place - there is one way to my house, and if something like this happens you're just. stuck.
There is one way to get there - through the mountain. So after phone calls and some stressing, we decided that we would follow our aunt and uncle through the mountain, even though it would take us an hour to get home from somewhere that should take 15 minutes. We were prepared to do that, when the road finally opened up.
We made it home, and my dad was able to make it out to say bye to his brothers, but talk about a crazy night, lol.
Another cousin got married this summer, which brought family to town once again! The month of July was crazy, busy! Valerie came to visit again, and this time brought her brother, and we had such a busy week with them! We went hiking through stinging nettle (Welcome to the PNW, Val *laughs*), spent a day at the river, got ice cream, played lots of games, and got so much coffee! And I hosted my first ever volleyball, and it was a pretty good turn out even though it was all my little cousins, lol.
We didn't have as much time as we would have wanted, so we never did get around to taking them up to the mountains or anything, but it was still a fun time!
It feels like the summer just flew by this year! The entire year has flown by, for that matter. How is it already October? How are we getting ready to head into yet another holiday season? Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.
But first we have October. Fall. My favorite season. Time for pumpkin lattes (yes, I'm one of those people, lol). Cozy sweaters. Pumpkins and fallen leaves. Beautiful rainy days, and those crisp dry ones thrown in. Fall mugs, and yummy soups.
And yet another birthday for me. While I love birthdays, I can't be the only one who has a hard time with them sometimes. Cause they just feel like another reminder that time is going by and yet I'm not at all where I thought I would be by 26.
Don't get me wrong. There's so much I love about my life. I have parents who love me, a home that's warm, a sister who's been there with me through it all, and married siblings who live just minutes from me. The most wonderful nieces and nephews (who are growing up way too fast). I have a job that is mostly based off my own schedule, so I get to take off to Tri-Cities next weekend to see Kirsten who'll be visiting up there, and that's a blessing. And I feel so blessed to have a rig that I can take up there instead of having to borrow my parents' for the long drives.
I've been trying to push myself outside my comfort zone this year, and honestly, I have no idea if it's helped my awkward-and-shyness, or made it worse, but I'm trying my best, even though it's been a lot harder than people realize.
It's been a wild year, and if I'm honest, I've really been having a hard time since September 10th happened. And so many people close to me have lost loved ones this year. Babies and children, and it's really been rough. I don't know how we're making it through, but I do know that it's been God all along.
He's carrying us all through, and He's up to something. I don't know what it could be, but from the very beginning of this year I have felt God working in my life. And while I have yet to see it, I know He hasn't forgotten. And I trust Him. And I know that this will all make sense someday.
And even before I see it, or understand what He's doing, I am choosing to hold on to hope that everything is going to be okay. And that someday my dreams will come true. And I will look back on my life and be thankful for the way it played out. Even though it meant years of loneliness. Years of trying to navigate life on my own. Years of praying. Years of aching for something I can't see.
God is in this story. And I believe that. I really do.
