Walking in the Sonshine: a new year letter {2022}

Saturday, December 31, 2022

a new year letter {2022}

" And suddenly I realized

that every single thing in my life

is fleeting, and that only God

is eternal. "

Dear Twenty-Twenty-Two,

I have never experienced a year full of such change. When this year started, I was just beginning to see the end of a long, dark tunnel. Just barely believing that there was hope, and that I would indeed make it through. With a dark winter and holiday season behind me, I buckled up for the ride we called 2022. And what. a. ride. I had no idea what I was in for. I had no way of knowing that by the end of that fresh new year I would have watched two of my wonderful siblings marry their best friend. I had no way of knowing that I would once again be an auntie to a darling little unknown baby who we call "Baby Pooh". Or that we would sell our home of seven years and move to an old farmhouse in The Flats. A new home, a new and improved family. And a new bedroom, all to myself. There has been so many changes in this year, but it has been a good one, and I have never felt so much like myself. I may not be where I always thought I would be by twenty-three. And maybe I have no idea what I'm doing or why God has me here, but that's just it: HE HAS ME HERE. I wasn't just dropped here. I have not been forgotten. My life hasn't somehow fallen through the cracks of God's Plan. He has me here for a reason. Here. Twenty-Three. Single. Sleeping alone every night. Living with my parents and sister here on "The Farm". Here.

But back in January, I had no clue I would end up here. Back in January I was still struggling with some health problems that had started back in October of 2021 (and stayed till March). I was going through a lot personally through most the year and January was no exception. I was still recovering from the wrecks that were 2020 and 2021, but I was muddling through. Putting my all into being an auntie to Kate and Gideon, working on being the friend my friends deserve, and cleaning houses with LaKaysha (like always). My brother was just beginning his relationship with his prairie girl and watching them fall in love (even over long distance) was a joy. and in a flash February was gone and it was March.

With March came a family trip to the desert to see Auntie A and Uncle Tim. Even Felicity and Josiah came and we spent a fun weekend visiting. In April Brynna came to visit the bro - and us, and what fun! My health problems were finally gone and I was able to enjoy her visit to the fullest. And that trip (for her) it was set in stone (literally) that she would be my sister. For that was when Chancy proposed to her and she said yes! And still I can't believe how blessed I am to have that girl for my sister-in-law. <3 By the end of April it was obvious that something was happening in the life of my old friend and dear cousin. And it was in May that I got to witness a miracle. God took my cousin, dug her up from the pit she as in and SAVED HER! Have you ever been present as Heaven rejoiced for a lost soul? I will never forget the feeling of knowing she was going to be okay. Or the song we were singing when I watched the change happened in her:

He lives, oh the bliss of this glorious thought

My sin not in part but the whole

Is nailed to the cross and I bare it no more!

PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD, O MY SOUL!!

{it is well with my soul}

And now she is home. She's saved! And I have my friend back. She came flying back into my heart and my life almost as if she had not left all those years ago. And now we're back to our silly giggles that keep LaKaysha up at night, and our hours long talks. Nothing has moved me more than to be able to sit there beside her and watch Jesus' Light shine out from her soul. Or to sit beside her in church and know that it is well with her soul. It still moves me. It still gives me chills - the good kind of chills - and it still brings tears to my eyes. PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD, O MY SOUL!!!

Later that month Brynna surprised us with another visit! Took her to the beach and just spent a lot of chill time together. And soon May was coming to an end. And with that came Memorial Day. I went to the annual church campout along with LaKaysha, Liberty and Damara. We camped with Auntie A and her family and had a great time. Liberty left that campout with a boyfriend, though her and Byron didn't become officially couple till a week later, which put us in June.

June was a busy month because it was the month that the bro got married, and that required traveling to South Dakota for the wedding. We did our first and only sibling road trip. I traveled with LaKaysha, Chancy, and Liberty and we headed out a week early, to get Chancy to his girl. That SD trip was so fun, and honestly one of my favorite memories from the year. I was blessed to be able to stand beside Brynna as she became Mrs. Chancy Stenersen. We had a bit of a scare when Chancy got sick with food poisoning just three days before the wedding, but he was able to stand up there and get married without a hitch. I also sang in the wedding as well as was a bridesmaid. It was honestly the most wonderful experience to be able to sing the song that my great-grandma wrote for my grandma's wedding. It made me wish Grandma could see her little grandson up there getting married, but I managed not to cry. I sang it with my sisters, and three of Brynna's sisters. And though we were all over the place during rehearsal we were told we did great at the actual wedding, so that good, lol.

Traveled home with a "caravan" of us - just three vehicles, lol. Sometimes I rode with the parents, and sometimes I rode with "the aunts" (Marissa and Marita). We sang Disney songs on top of our lungs (Pete's Dragon {1977} soundtrack anyone??), stopped in Gillette, WY just to chill, and you should've heard the squeals when we got our fist glimpse of mountains in the distance. I enjoyed the SD sunsets, and being at the lake where we stayed, as well as being with my SD girls, but this born and raised PNW girl needs her some mountains and trees. <3

It seems like we were just barely home from this trip when our little house was sold and soon we were packing up to move out to "The Farm". But before we were able to do that we were hit with a sickness that had us all down for a couple weeks. I've never been so sick in all my life. But the next thing we knew we had made it through that, had moved to a new house and July was mostly gone. That's when we learned "Baby Pooh" would be coming in April of 2023. I can't wait to hold that sweet child and kiss their little face. This auntie is counting the days till April <3

With moving and sickness behind us I was finally able to enjoy summer in August, with swimming, a beach day with dear friends, and three fair days. Somehow in the middle of this crazy and chaotic life we found time to spend time at the fair on three separate days. Went to my first ever concert and seen Martina McBride live from the grandstands! As well as the rodeo, and tuff trucks. And the fair food was definitely Worth the Wait! There's just something about an evening spent at the fair, eating food, and looking at the animals.

Summer took forever to leave the PNW, taking up all of September and most of October. It was weird to spend my fall birthday breathing in wildfire smoke and praying for rain.

Liberty and Byron got engaged in September, so October and November were crazy months filled with wedding planning. Took a trip up to the desert so LaKaysha could practice singing with Uncle Tim, as Liberty had asked them to sing in her and Byron's wedding. And on December 2nd, we got yet another one of my siblings married, and I stood in that wedding too. Chancy and Brynna had been living with us while their little house out back was being built, and the day after Liberty and Byron's wedding, they moved out. Overnight half the people who were living here and taking their meals here had moved on. Life was changed in a flash. We decorated for Christmas. I moved into my own bedroom for the first time in my life, and we slowly started to adjust to this new home life.

Its been a hard, but good change. I spent the first couple weeks crying myself to sleep alone in my big empty bed. But I can now honestly say that I am getting used to it, and I do love my life. I truly do feel that I am thriving for the first time in way too long. My family is growing so fast with weddings and babies, life is a whirlwind of changes, but isn't this the life I wanted? Maybe none of the weddings were mine, and maybe I'm not counting down the days till the birth of my own child. But these are the things I've prayed for. For years life moved on, round and round, almost as if nothing would change. And just like that. Nothing will ever be the same. Sometimes I wish life would slow down, but then I remember this is exactly what I asked God to do with 2022. I asked Him if this could please be the year that something would happen. And God said, "Buckle up."

I doubt things will calm down in 2023, with another cousin getting married in February (though I doubt I will be able to make it to that, sadly) and a trip planned for May with the aunts and LaKaysha. A well overdue single "sisters" trip. But mostly in 2023 I just want to go with the flow and let God work His plan for my life. If 2022 taught me anything, it's that life happens fast - why, in January we didn't even know who Byron was and now he's a member if our wonderful family - And that God is working, and things will happen right On Time.

I seen this quote back in July and it hit me as exactly how I feel about 2022:

Everything has changed and yet

I am more me than I have ever been

This year I loved. I laughed. I hugged some wonderful people. I grieved. I cried. I healed and I hurt. I started crocheting again and I read great books. I played with my niece and nephew. I played my music loud and sang on top of my lungs. And I've been learning to dance in the rain. Funny. Because at the beginning of this year I picked a quote to be my "quote for the year". It's one you all probably know, especially if you've been around my blog for a while. And it's one I have always loved:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass

It's about learning to dance in the rain.