I cried.

South Dakota. August 2021.

I cried. And I didn't even know why.

I had so many emotions trying to come out.

I was happy. I felt loved. 

I was sad. I was broken.

I was welcomed, and accepted as I was.

For too long I felt nobody could love me.

Nobody would want to get to know me. 

I wasn't enough. That had to be it. That was why I had no friends.

I wasn't worth it.

But then I found friends who didn't look at me like I was an outsider. 

They made me feel like an insider. 

They made me laugh. They seen me cry.

They understood. They got it. They didn't judge.

So I cried. At the thought of leaving them. 

At the memory of the pain before.

At the joy of the future to come - one where I knew I didn't have to be anything more than myself.

And I cried for the pain of the past two months. I cried for the grief that is yet to come. 

I cried for the freedom of forgiving. I cried with excitement for what's next.

Once it started, I couldn't stop it. 

And that was okay. 

I know now that I am going to be okay.

because I had cried the tears of healing.

and God is so good.

{one of these days I'll do a more detailed post about my trip to SD}